EXCLUSIVE! Lil’ Vladi: Wanrer Brothers Announce Greenlighting of Dune Remake of Remake Prequel Limited Streaming Series

BURBANK, CA, April 1, 2022: Hot off several Oscar wins in categories nobody cares about nor remembers, the producers of Dune Remake of Remake sheepishly announced on Friday that, prior to making the second part of a movie they couldn’t even finish the first time, a prequel limited streaming series is being fast-tracked into immediate production, like, immediately.

Lil’ Vladi, as the prequel limited streaming series will be known probably, recounts the early days of Dune Remake of Remake’s corpulent villain, Baron Vladimir Harkonnnen.

“Presumably, the fat mean jerk Baron was also a fat mean jerk of a kid,” stated Wanrer Brothers Junior V.P. of Redundant Production, Ann Onymous, in a prepared statement. “And who doesn’t dig that?”

Enhancing our understanding of this vital matter, I.M. Fraudulent, Wanrer Brothers Senior Assistant Steward of Flagrant Nepotism, declared in a prepared declaration: “We figured, heck, for the young Harkonnnen, we already have the footage of that Gloop brat in the chocolate river. You know, from our Wonka Remake that kinda fizzled, but not the Wonka Remake Prequel nobody asked for that we’re doing presently. The previous one.”

Timothééé Wolfhaard, who is being pushed upon us despite not having done much of significance, apparently appears in Dune Remake of Remake, and, hardly coincidentally, is also playing Wonka, a role previously portrayed by actors you’ve heard of, in Wonka Remake Prequel. They was unavailable for comment, as them’s still in the preliminary stages of learning how to dress theirself.

Surprisingly available for comment was P.A.G. member and sometime actor Vinnie Petrol, who enthusiastically whispered, “I have nothing to do with these projects. Well, I guess that Aquaguy actor is in Dune Remake of Remake, and we need a new big guy to fight me and lose in our alleged ‘final’ two Crashy-Smashy movies, and he’s that, or something. By the way, I’m a badass.”

Cornered inside a lavatory at the newly minted Ovation Mall at Hollywood & Highland immediately following not personally winning any Oscars in the Doldak Theater, Dune Remake of Remake’s visionary director Dennis “Visionary” Villenoive humbly offered, “Je suis veeesionareee!”

Dune Remake of Remake: Lil’ Vladi is expected to stream on HOB-Min as soon as next week. Shouted Notta Realperson, HOB-Min Junior Development Patsy for Extremely Special Projects, in a prepared shout: “I’m not gonna mention words like ‘Rings’ or ‘Trek’ or ‘Wars,’ but everybody else is turning long-established properties that used to be good into sucky fanfic streaming series that, at best, nine people worldwide actually watch. It’s our turn.”

Boomer pundit Kurt Lodre did not contribute to this report . . .

. . . which is a parody piece . . .

. . . obviously.